Unbelievable.

Anyone who's been to the Old City of Jerusalem, or really any marketplace anywhere in the world knows that shopkeepers will do and say anything to get your into their store. Yes, it's annoying, but I have passed the point of being upset about this reality and now just get a real laugh out of what these people come up with.

By now I'm used to the usual "My friend, I welcome you", "America? Obama?", "We love Obama" (these all must be imagined in an Arab accent to have the full effect), or if I'm with my friend Cody, the inevitable "You Mormon? We like Mormon" (Cody is not Mormon.)

In Turkey the man selling me and Dana scarves told me he liked my hair (which was in a braid), then my earrings (they were just studs), and then, after I told him the scarves (which he insisted he hand-wove. puh-lease.) were beautiful, he said "thank you, they are beautiful just like your eyes". Well thanks, bud. That's sweet.

"You from Canada?" Nope. "Germany?" Guess again. "Ukraine?" You can't be serious.

The boys trying to solicit customers for donkey rides in Petra got pretty creative: "Who wants taxi?" "Long walk nice ride" "We have air conditioning!"

I wish I had written down more, because there's been some gems that I can't remember. But this one certainly takes the cake. I heard it in the Old City the other day while doing some obligatory souvenir shopping: "Hello, can I touch your hair? You remind me of my cat."

REALLY????

If I had been considering buying your clearly mass-produced "authentic hand-painted ceramics" or tacky postcards, I certainly am not now.